Derik Schneider Online

Life is a Highway

Life is a Highway
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Friday, 26 October 2012

POLIPOP! Caffeinated With John Fugelsang- Mitt Romney vs. The GOP



A President Mitt Romney and I doubt this would ever happen, but if it did it would be better for comedians. Because he's a gaffe and flip-flopping machine, that would provide comedians and bloggers mountains of material to make fun of him. Every comedian in America should endorse Mitt Romney for president for their own careers. Because they would make all the material they had against George W. Bush look as original as the New York Yankees winning the World Series, or Lebron James playing in the NBA Finals and losing. Because when it comes to taking political positions for Mitt, it depends on which group he's talking to and which Mitt is speaking to that group. Businessman Mitt, religious fundamentalist Mitt, Neoconservative Mitt, or whoever Mitt is when he's not running for whatever political office he's interested in at the time.

The fact that someone like Mitt Romney who flips backs and forth more often than tennis balls at a tennis match, could win the Republican nomination for president, is like a quarterback winning the starting position for an expansion team.

"Since no one else seriously tried out and you haven't done any time in any mental institutions and don't see same-sex marriage as a threat national security, we'll give the job to you. And good luck to you as we're more interested in 2016 anyway. When we might have at least on candidate who can actually win." Mitt Romney won the GOP presidential nomination, because he seemed like the only person who was sane to the GOP establishment and would embarrass them the least and not cost them the House of Representatives. Which they can't afford to lose in 2012.

So yeah, a President Mitt Romney (I'm shitting bricks just saying that) would have been great for comedy and blogging interesting. Especially bloggers who right comedy and I'm one of them. But bad for the American people, because for them to have any idea what their President thinks about any issue, they would have to listen and read every single he says. Because his positions could change the next time he opens his mouth about anything depending on who he's talking to. And what the polls in the Republican Party are saying.

President Romney Senior Adviser- Aw Mr. President, your current position on that issue is not popular.

President Romney- Okay, I'll change it.

Senior Adviser- But you just took that position yesterday.

Romney-  So what! I'm speaking to Americans. Their memories aren't that long anyway."

That is what a President Romney would be like. Who knows what the President, because he doesn't even know. Great for comedy, but bad for the country.